I have never been a great fan of the phrase work/life balance! Firstly, because it puts work first and secondly, because the expression gives one the impression that balance is something that is static and once achieved remains with us forever in that form. So a number of years ago when I started exploring my own life purpose, I reframed the Work/Life balance terminology into a phrase that would mean something to me personally. So I came up with Life Design and Work Design… the reference to design reminds me I have choices and Life and Work are the two distinct foci of my world.
Where do you start? When I started looking at designing my life I thought of it the same way as if I was designing a house. It seemed a perfect analogy to me that enabled me to separate out the different aspects of my being that needed to be acknowledge and incorporated into my everyday life. Just as the rooms in a house have their own purpose and flow, so does the spiritual, emotional, physical ‘rooms’ in my life have to have their own purpose and flow. Of course, that’s all great in theory but where do you start? All the ideas that I had were scrambled together and felt more like the result of a tornado than the beginnings of new ‘house design’!! Just as we need to go through a process to build a house and make it a home, so we need to go through a process of personal exploration to design our own Life and Work to make it our ‘home’. It isn’t always easy and it isn’t always perfect but it is real and it is ours! When we build a house, we find a section, find an architect or house template and we begin to design a house that fits our life style, our family, our commitments and our stage in life. Similarly, when we decide to design our Life and Work, we need to be clear about WHO we are, WHAT we value and HOW we will know we are living our perfect Life and Work Design. The processes and tools that I have learnt and used over the last ten years, not only for myself but also with my clients will enable you to discover the crucial parts of you that are vital to incorporate into YOUR Life and Work Design. Join me as I share some of these Coaching processes and Tools with you today and in my BLOGS over the next few months.
Clear Unresolved Matters
Accepting that our past experiences make up the wonderful mix of who we are, is essential to get clear with the past, do what you can and let go of the rest. We do the best we can at the time and I believe that we do not make mistakes but rather have experiences that we can learn and grow from. A wonderful friend of mine once said to me when I was explaining something terrible that I felt I had done and that I was flogging myself for, “So…you are still practicing at being the perfect human”! A simple affirmation, but it really cleared the way for me to forgive my imperfections and take the experience that had been given to me and make a choice about using it to move me forward. What do you need to resolve to enable you to clear the way forward?
Restoring your Integrity
This is a big one! In order to be at our best we need to feel complete and whole. To be “in integrity” we need to take responsibility for who we are and how we interact with others. Our actions and words must reflect the WHO we need to be to stay in ‘integrity’ with ourselves and others. We can all think of times when our ego or ‘humanness’ has raged out of control and we have acted “out of integrity”. The feeling we are left with is disturbing, full of blame, critical and reactive. Very human emotions, but not attractive and not useful as we try to find a space of peace, clarity and wellbeing to create our Life Design. Where are you “out of integrity” and what needs to change to enable you to be “in integrity”?
Remember – Working your way through these processes takes courage! Be kind to yourself and feel free to contact Patti , if you would like a Coach to partner you on this journey.
About Patti Gwynne
